I have a co-worker that fashions himself a prankster of sorts. He likes trying to put me in awkward positions, but since I know they’re coming, I’m often prepared with a retort. For example, if the alleged penis-growing product Extenze comes up in conversation (which happens way more often than you might expect), he’ll point at me and say, “You know all about that product; how’s it working for you?” I’m ready for that, so I say, “Well they keep contacting me to be the ‘After’ picture, but I don’t like to brag.” I might change it up and say, “I wanted to try it, but they said for safety reasons that I should just stand pat.” The jokee becomes the joker, order is restored, and we go back to the conversation at hand.
Last week, I was in an elevator with that guy, a young lady from our office, and three people from another office that I see around but have never officially met. “So what did the doctor say about that cold sore?” my co-worker asked me with a poorly-stifled grin. I had two options: either dismissively say, “Very funny,” or play along. I’m guessing you already know which option I chose. “He’s impressed,” I said. “Is it still green?” “No, purple actually, which is kinda cool.” “Still got lots of pus?” I decided to kick it up a notch with, “I’ll show you tonight before we climb into bed.” And scene. He was stumped just long enough for the elevator doors to open and for one of the guys I don’t know to say, “Is it getting warm in here?” before walking out. I think the plan of embarrassing me backfired just a little there. In all seriousness though, I really should get that thing checked out.