My parents have lived in the same house for almost 25 years. Recently, a couple who has been in the neighborhood even longer, decided to move back east to be closer to family. I wouldn’t say that my parents were ever particularly close with this couple, but they were always very pleasant with one another. Good Neighbors.
A few days ago my parents had gone out to run some errands while a moving crew was loading up the neighbors’ belongings. When they returned home an hour later, the departing couple was standing in the middle of the street, apparently waiting for my parents to say good-bye. During the conversation, the husband produced a beaten up shoe box. He explained that he had been going through the attic and found this box which had probably been sitting up there for 20 plus years. He said he had no use for its contents and my parents were welcome to it they were interested.
The person who comes closest to guessing the actual contents of the box will win a prize. Well, there won’t really be a prize, but I’ll think you’re pretty cool(Please don’t guess if you know the answer because you’ve already heard the story). Answers must be submitted by December 7, 2009. I’ll post the winner soon thereafter. Enjoy.
Mike Honcho
I haven’t heard this story yet, so I’ll give it a shot. Based on the size, age, box location, and lack of universal usefulness, I’m gonna go with…VHS tapes of some Better Lovemaking series from the 70s. Yeah, it’s gotta be that.
Holy shit! Your parents have Marsellus Wallace’s soul?
I already know the answer, but can I please win anyway?
Maps to Movie Star Homes
I cant wait until December 7th – email me the answer pleeeeeeaase.
I obviously have no patience.
weed. or in their generation’s vernacular, grass. what’s the prize?
And the winner is… MC SQUARED.
So now you’re probably looking at his guess and figure that my parents were offered a shoebox full of weed. You’d be wrong. MC is actually winning for his first answer, Marsellus Wallace’s soul. It was the only guess that was even remotely in the ballpark. And as you’ll see below, it’s still quite a stretch.
The contents of the shoebox, offered to my parents free of charge were… The ashes of their neighbor’s mother. I’ll let that sink in for a while and then we can discuss some more. Congratulations MC.
Wow. That’s just. Wow. Ok, first of all, I was eerily close, I have to say. It’s closer than a stretch, and you’re a prick for saying otherwise. My competition was a VHS tape and a map to the stars. It’s not just in the same ballpark, they’re both infield positions.
Second of all, I can’t believe you’ve never told me that story. I don’t even know where to begin. I think the prize should’ve been four trillion dollars, because do you know how many millennia it would take for a group of monkeys to type out the phrase “The ashes of their neighbor’s mother,” let alone for me to guess that noun/adjective combo?
But most of all, the how’s and why’s of this story overwhelm me. And I think it may be better that it end Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid style, with no conclusion, you just get to make up your own.
P.S. Even though I called you a prick, you are bound to think I’m pretty cool, per the terms of the contest. Prick.