I’ve complained quite a bit in the past about people saying “ATM Machine” and “PIN Number,” but those are the faults of the people and not the machines themselves. This one’s all about the machine though. I go to the ATM right by my office more times than I’d like to admit, and recently it’s really begun to piss me off. You see, I’m an expert now. For example, my finger is ready and in place to push the “Yes” even before it asks me if I want a receipt. I’m that fucking good.
Does it bother me that no one in line has ever stopped me and said, “Wow, that was really fast – you’re awesome”? Not one bit; people tend not to talk around ATMs (though they’re obviously thinking that). What bothers me is the very last step of the process. My index finger on my left hand is ready to push “Take Card” instead of “Another Transaction” while my right hand waits by the slot to quickly snatch the card when it comes out. The screen comes up and my left hand springs into action, hitting the screen with a speed and accuracy usually reserved for snipers. The very moment that even half of my ATM card appears, my right hand snatches it out of the slot. So what’s my problem? It beeps. The fucking thing beeps at me like I’m going to forget my credit card. I honestly don’t think I could be any faster and yet it gets out two beeps – one before the card even appears, and one after I’ve already removed it. I understand wanting to remind people to take their cards with them, but I obviously don’t need that reminder (let alone two of them). If a card is sitting there for half a second, sure, go for it. But beeping at Speedy McCash before and after I masterfully take care of business? That’s bullshit.
What a marvelous combination of Laynie and me you turned out to be.
Looking for Bullshit in life and calling it just that….Me.
Getting pissed off for reasons most people would never give a second thought to……Me.
A mind that has clear ideas…….Her.
The ability to find everyday things in life that keep your mind sharp…..Her.
The world class speed for repetitive tasks……Her.
I am really fast and consider it a challenge at the ATM to complete the task with no wasted motion. My most used machine beeps while you are waiting for the receipt. It realy pisses me off…I’m poised and ready to grab the receipt but it takes exactly 8 beeps to spit it out. It concerns me that bystanders might think I’m dilly-dallying. So many things in life to worry about.
This post takes me back to the yellow chair when we may or may not have had this exact discussion – I can’t say ATM without saying machine and then I ultimately think back to Master P’s annoyance with the whole thing.