L.A. is full of douchebags, and that’s never more evident than on my drives home from work. One one side of me, I’ll see an older guy in his Porsche with a cigar in his mouth listening loudly to Spanish guitar music, and on the other I’ll see a guy in his 20s in a modified sports coupe with mufflers that intentionally make it as loud as a jet engine. I usually try to ignore them, since that’s probably the last thing they’d want anyone to do.
My drive home yesterday started off pretty normal. First I saw a new lime green Corvette that was as ridiculous as it sounds. A few minutes later, while sitting in traffic in the fast lane of the 101, a guy in a convertible pulled up to my right. “Is he wearing…a captain’s hat?” I thought. On closer inspection (which was easy since I was going about 0 mph), I saw that he was indeed rocking a captain’s hat. “Wow,” I thought or maybe even said aloud, “That’s a douchey move.” A second later, I looked to my left at the stopped traffic going the other way. Next to me was a guy in his 30s who caught my eye because he had two perfect lines of eye black under his eyes. It only took me a second to realize that he was probably wearing a costume for the last work day before Halloween. “Oh, is that what Captain McDoucheypants is doing too?” I wondered. I looked back to his vessel to see if there was a matching jacket or not, and the results were inconclusive. I’m gonna guess that he was also in costume instead of personifying the “damn I’m good” feeling that a lot of people seem to have in this town, though I could very easily be wrong. That probably tells non-L.A. dwellers all they need to know about this town: I couldn’t tell if someone was a typical arrogant prick or in costume. Hey, at least we have the Lakers.