{"id":736,"date":"2012-01-05T08:16:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-05T16:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nothingtoreadhere.com\/?p=736"},"modified":"2012-01-05T08:16:00","modified_gmt":"2012-01-05T16:16:00","slug":"thats-bullshit-sequence-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/?p=736","title":{"rendered":"That’s bullshit: sequence edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Some of my kids’ books are great, and some are less than stellar.\u00a0 I know my standards are probably too high, yet I’m still pleasantly surprised by some of the books strewn about their play area.\u00a0 Susan Boynton’s books, for example, are almost all awesome, and if you’re a parent of a kid anywhere close to the age range of mine, you’re probably nodding in agreement.\u00a0 They’re illustrated well, the meter of the verse is usually pretty solid, and there are sometimes little twists that make me smile (or even laugh out loud once – I know, that’s some serious shit right there).<\/p>\n

But I don’t expect too much from the less ambitious ones.\u00a0 If it’s something like “Baby’s First Words,” they should be able to correctly put a picture of a shoe under the word “shoe,” and that’s not normally a problem.\u00a0 Actually, now that I think about it a little more, there is one small book of colors that has a mostly green apple on the page that’s supposed to illustrate “Red.”\u00a0 I think that’s some minor bullshit right there, but I have a new one that gets my goat a wee bit more.<\/p>\n

“Numbers” is a small board book with a whopping six pages.\u00a0 Hard to mess that up, right?\u00a0 Page one shows a picture of a teddy bear, the number 1, and the words, “One teddy bear.”\u00a0 Pretty easy formula to follow, you might expect.\u00a0 Two shoes are on the page that faces that one, also with the appropriate text.\u00a0 Turn the page, and you’ll find three cupcakes and four cars waiting for you.\u00a0 So far so good, eh?\u00a0 But here’s where things go awry.\u00a0 The first time I turned the page, I was reading the book aloud to my kids.\u00a0 As I was saying, “Five fingers” and pointing to the splayed hand on the page, I couldn’t help but notice a foot waiting for me on the subsequent page.\u00a0 I actually had time to think to myself, “Nah, that can’t be right.”\u00a0 Sure enough, I moved over to the final page of the book and read aloud, “FIVE toes.”\u00a0 Yep, you read that right.\u00a0 The six-page book of numbers goes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5.\u00a0 Why the hell would they do that?\u00a0 It’s not like they needed to find something inextricably tied to the number six (like fingers are to five), because that’s not the case with three cupcakes, four cars, or…any of the others, actually.\u00a0 So it could’ve been six of anything <\/em>– flowers, blueberries, rattles, babies, or virtually anything not R-rated.\u00a0 It’s like someone said, “Ya know, we had such a good feeling about 5 being fingers that maybe we should just try to replicate that success instead of pushing ourselves to find a good pairing for number 6.”\u00a0 Ok, sure, that could make a tiny bit of sense…if it weren’t a fucking counting book with only six pages.\u00a0 My kids are going to think that the number 5 follows the number 5 unless I step in and stop the nonsense myself.\u00a0 I really have no idea how it got published with what I consider to be a giant flaw, but I know one thing: that’s bullshit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some of my kids’ books are great, and some are less than stellar.\u00a0 I know my standards are probably too high, yet I’m still pleasantly surprised by some of the books strewn about their play area.\u00a0 Susan Boynton’s books, for example, are almost all awesome, and if you’re a parent of a kid anywhere close […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[220,20,221],"class_list":["post-736","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-books","tag-bullshit","tag-counting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/736","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=736"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/736\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":738,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/736\/revisions\/738"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=736"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=736"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=736"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}