{"id":401,"date":"2010-08-06T06:18:15","date_gmt":"2010-08-06T13:18:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nothingtoreadhere.com\/?p=401"},"modified":"2010-08-06T06:19:31","modified_gmt":"2010-08-06T13:19:31","slug":"lyrical-breakdown-the-beastie-boys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/?p=401","title":{"rendered":"Lyrical Breakdown: The Beastie Boys"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>When “Licensed to Ill” by The Beastie Boys\u00a0came out in November of 1986, it was revolutionary.\u00a0 Rap music went from an all-black counter-culture movement depicting lives and scenarios unseen by the masses to a mainstream, popular, and fun type of music led by three New York Jewish kids who\u00a0encouraged us to party.\u00a0 (Partying is a God-given right, after all.)\u00a0 I only remember three things about that next summer: One, I turned 10 years old.\u00a0 Two, the Lakers won the championship and Pat Riley guaranteed that they’d do it again the following year (which they did – suck it, Celtics and Pistons).\u00a0 Three, “Licensed to Ill” was on damn near non-stop during my days at Camp Skyview.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Every single bus ride started with someone putting that cassette tape on.\u00a0 Everyone sang\/rapped along as each song seamlessly bled into the next one.\u00a0 The only non-Beastie Boys time on the bus was in the brief seconds it took for someone to eject the tape and flip it over to start the next side.\u00a0 As you can imagine, the songs are still near and dear to my heart.\u00a0 When “She’s Crafty” (song #3) popped into my head last week, I realized that it would make a good candidate for a Lyrical Breakdown (if I ever sat down and spent the required time writing about it).\u00a0 I looked up the lyrics on a few different sites, and while there are a few words that I would’ve put down differently, I’ll go with what seems to be the accepted text.\u00a0 Take it away, MCA, Ad Rock, and Mike D:<\/p>\n

Well this girl came up to me – she says she’s new in town
\nBut the crew been said they seen her around
\nI thought they were right but I didn’t wanna know
\nThe girlie was Def and she wanted to go<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Please remember, I was 10 years old at the time.\u00a0 That said, I wasn’t stupid.\u00a0 I knew right off the bat that the girlie wasn’t “deaf,” which is a plus because that little misunderstanding would’ve changed the whole song for me.\u00a0 Also, I knew from the way they said “she wanted to go-oh!” that it implied something of a sexual nature.\u00a0 When the older, wiser P-Dawg looks at this intro through adult eyes, I have a question: Why didn’t he want to know that about her?\u00a0 Here’s my reading of these four lines: A chick approached him with a variation of a pick-up line (very aggressive, no?).\u00a0 His buddies have heard or seen slutty things about her and slyly mention this.\u00a0 He hopes that they’re wrong because he’s not into the trampy types, but he gets the feeling that she came up to him for one reason and one reason only: to bone down.<\/p>\n

I think her name is Lucy but they all call her Loose
\nI think I thought I seen her on eighth and forty-deuce
\nThe next thing she said, “My place or yours?
\nLet’s kick some bass behind closed doors!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Well, here’s the first case of me missing something due to my small number of years at the time.\u00a0 10 year-old P-Dawg thought, “Yeah, I guess Luce is a nickname of Lucy.\u00a0 Maybe they just needed a rhyme for ‘deuce.'”\u00a0 Didn’t occur to me that it was the other spelling and a telling nickname for this whorish young lady.\u00a0 I did, however, understand that “kicking some bass” was a euphemism for sex.\u00a0 I was very advanced for my age.\u00a0<\/p>\n

We got into the cab – the cab driver said
\nHe recognized my girlie from the back of her head
\nHe said a little something about tip to base
\nSo I made him stop the cab to get out of the place
\nI shouldn’t have looked back man I’ll always regret it
\nSomething’s going on and I’ll probably never get it
\nShe was crying like a baby – stupid dumb
\nIt’s just too bad that girl’s a bum<\/p>\n

(chorus) She’s crafty – she’s gets around
\nShe’s crafty – she’s always down
\nShe’s crafty – she’s got a gripe
\nShe’s crafty – and she’s just my type
\nShe’s crafty<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Ok, here is the reason behind this whole post: the cab driver scene.\u00a0 As a 10 year-old and all the way up until my favorite brother and I had a discussion recently, I never really thought about what any of those words meant.\u00a0 Why would he recognize her from the back of her head?\u00a0 Maybe he sat behind her in class or something.\u00a0 Now, not only do I get the sexual meaning behind that, but it makes me wonder how the cabbie would even see the back of his passenger’s head.\u00a0 I guess he recognized the front of her too but felt like stating his past with her in a more poetic fashion.\u00a0 But oh, that next line isn’t nearly as poetic.\u00a0 My bro (and probably the rest of my friends) never really thought about what “tip to base” could be in reference to.\u00a0 I mean, he’s a cab driver, and there’s a base fee and a tip on top of that, right?\u00a0 But what has else has a tip and a base and could upset someone by talking about spanning that distance while looking at the back of his ladyfriend’s head?\u00a0 Hmmm.\u00a0 I asked my Bratty Kid Sister if she’d ever thought about it, and she said that the dirty way made “more disgusting sense” and was probably the true meaning.\u00a0 Flash back to the busload of happy 8-14 year-olds loudly singing along with those lines and tell me you don’t feel just a teensy bit uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

Along similar lines, I remember thinking “She’s always down” in the chorus was about her being sad.\u00a0 Now, it’s probably more along the lines of, “She’s ready for the hippity dippity if you are, homes.”\u00a0 But there’s something else new here for me: “She’s just my type.”\u00a0 So he’s drawn to this kind of young lady, even though it leads to him ultimately being unhappy.\u00a0 It’s self-aware to be sure, but also self-destructive and his crew needs to step in earlier to stop the cycle from repeating itself instead of just coyly mentioning the girlie’s whorish tendencies.\u00a0 Ready for the next verse?\u00a0 Of course you are.<\/p>\n

I spent my last dollar to by a Sabrett
\nWhen I seen this girl I could never forget
\nNow I like nothing better than a pretty girl smile
\nAnd I haven’t seen a smile that pretty in a while
\nThe girl came up to me she said she loved the show
\nAsked her to come home and she couldn’t say no<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

As\u00a0young P-Dawg, I eventually\u00a0realized that he wasn’t saying a slurred version of “cigarette.”\u00a0 I never took the next logical step to ask what a Sabrett was, and I eventually settled on thinking that it was some kind of a hat.\u00a0 Nope, it’s a hot dog – I was way off.\u00a0 Back to the story though: is this a new girl who came up to him after the show?\u00a0 It sure sounds like it, though the “the” in front of “girl” is confusing.\u00a0 If it were “a” or “this” or even “some,” it would be clearer.\u00a0 Here’s the main distinction though: he asks her to come home instead of the other way around.\u00a0 The first chick was the aggressor, but now he’s the one wanting to kick some bass.\u00a0 But wait – is this one still his type then?\u00a0 As a kid, it never occurred to me that this could be a different woman, but that’s where adult me is leaning.\u00a0 After all, the last time we saw the first girl, she was crying and a bum, so would he really be asking her back to his place just because she said she liked the show they just put on?\u00a0 I say no.<\/p>\n

We got to the crib – there’s Adam and D.
\n“We didn’t say a word!” – they just stared at me
\nI said, “I don’t know her, I\u00a0just met her tonight.”
\nAnd Adrock started hiding everything in sight
\nD pulled me over said, “Hide your gold,
\nThe girl is crafty like ice is cold!”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yep, it’s gotta be a different girl.\u00a0 With the first one, they’d seen her around before and knew of her slutty tendencies (slutendencies?).\u00a0 With this one, it seems like they’re just afraid to have a stranger over there and sense some ulterior and nefarious motives.\u00a0 (Ulfarious?)\u00a0 The final line in this section is great for two reasons. First, it taught my generation that analogies can be fun.\u00a0 Second, a kid named Chris who lived down the street from us when I was young thought it was, “The girl’s a crafty isotope.”\u00a0 How did he know the word ‘isotope’?\u00a0 Who knows, but elaborately wrong song lyrics were kinda his thing, as he also gave us the masterful “Smooth Apparatus” by Sade.<\/p>\n

The girl is crafty – she knows all the moves
\nI started playing records – she knew all the grooves
\nD\u00a0thought she was a thief – and D was right
\nBut I just figured she’d spend the night<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Oh yeah, and they taught us about foreshadowing too.\u00a0 “D was right…she was a thief!\u00a0 Get out of there, MCA!\u00a0 She’s no good for you!”<\/p>\n

When I woke up late in the afternoon
\nShe had taken all the things from inside his room
\nI found myself naked in the middle of the floor
\nShe had taken the bed and the chest of drawers
\nThe mirror, the TV, the new guitar cord
\nMy remote control and my old skateboard
\nShe robbed us blind – she took all we owned
\nAnd the boys blamed me for bringing her home
\n(repeat chorus)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Here is another rather large difference between young me just accepting lyrics without thinking about them and the current me who overanalyzes words to the point that I argue with myself: She took a lot of stuff!\u00a0 As a kid, I just crammed those lines together into a concise “she-stole-his-stuff” package and never broke down\u00a0that with which she actually absconded.\u00a0 1. He’s naked – but he could’ve been naked after all the bass-kicking, back-of-head-looking,\u00a0and tip-to-base-ing.\u00a0 2. The bed and the chest of drawers – whoa, how fucked up did he get to not notice someone (or more likely, multiple someones) removing large furniture from his room?\u00a0 How did his roommates not hear this?\u00a0 I’ve moved beds and other furniture more times than I can count, and that’s no silent process.\u00a0 3. The mirror, the TV, the new guitar cord – ok, the TV makes total sense.\u00a0 That’s what I’d expect her to steal.\u00a0 Well, that, any cash lying around, maybe some weed, and a cassette tape or two.\u00a0 A mirror?\u00a0 Sure, why not.\u00a0 A guitar cord?\u00a0 Was the entire guitar not there to take?\u00a0 She must have a guitar already to take a cord with her.\u00a0 (And I always thought of it as “guitar chord” until today, even though that doesn’t make any sense when listed as a stolen item).\u00a0 4. My remote control and my old skateboard – well of course she would take the remote if she’s taking the TV.\u00a0 She’d be an irresponsible thief if she left that there.\u00a0 Any why’s he complaining about that?\u00a0 What good would a TV-less remote do him anyway?\u00a0 As for the old skateboard, I see two readings on this.\u00a0 Either it was his trusty skateboard that he’d had a long time (which would bum him out) or it was his last, unused skateboard (as opposed to the new one that she didn’t take).\u00a0 I’m guessing it’s the former since he doesn’t sound too jazzed about the whole thing.<\/p>\n

So she took everything (though there’s no mention of the other two beds being stolen), and MCA ends the verse with a little “They’re mad at ME?” humor.\u00a0 It might not come across on the screen, but if you know the song, that’s definitely the intonation.\u00a0 But the song doesn’t end there, my friends.\u00a0 By adding the chorus again, we’re all reminded that despite all the shit that just went down (speaking of which, she didn’t steal their toilet, so they’ve got that going for them), her craftiness makes her just his type.\u00a0 I don’t know if his parents didn’t love him enough or what, but that’s pretty fucked up to be drawn to sluts, criminals, and criminal sluts.\u00a0 (Criminuts?)<\/p>\n

So there you go, everyone.\u00a0 I probably just gave more thought to this song than the 3 Beastie Boys did while writing it combined.\u00a0 That’s what I bring to the table…assuming it wasn’t also stolen by the ulfarious criminut.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When “Licensed to Ill” by The Beastie Boys\u00a0came out in November of 1986, it was revolutionary.\u00a0 Rap music went from an all-black counter-culture movement depicting lives and scenarios unseen by the masses to a mainstream, popular, and fun type of music led by three New York Jewish kids who\u00a0encouraged us to party.\u00a0 (Partying is a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[99,100],"class_list":["post-401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-beastie-boys","tag-crafty"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/401","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=401"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/401\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":410,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/401\/revisions\/410"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/n2rh.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}