I’m generally a very nice guy, but sometimes my inner asshole comes out without any notice.  That totally didn’t sound right, but what am I going to do, hit the backspace key or something?  Maybe capitalizing it would help.  My Inner Asshole made a surprise appearance this morning during my commute, in fact.  (Nope, didn’t help.) I was driving along at a moderate speed when I saw a bumper sticker on a car one lane over.  It was still a pretty good distance away, so all I could initially read was, “My Nephew.”  “What, is your nephew an honor student or something?” I thought.  Don’t get me wrong: I love my nephew to pieces, but I can’t see  myself affixing something to my car that says how proud I am of him.  My Inner Asshole kept going: “Maybe he or she doesn’t have anything to be proud of in his or her own life and is vicariously living through a sibling.  It’s like the ‘My German Shepherd is Smarter than your Honor Student’ shit people try pulling.  No it’s not; it might be smarter than a Maltese or something, but until it stops barking when you accidentally put your glass down too hard on the table, it’s really nowhere near the intelligence of even a dumb kid.”  Then I got closer to the car and took in the whole message: “NAVY. I Proudly Support My Nephew.”

Oh.  I forgot about that option.  What an asshole My Inner Asshole is.