Hello, and happy Boxing Day 2016, everyone. It’s been way, way too long but I’m kinda making a pre-New Year’s Resolution to write more. I’ve been prioritizing steps on my Fitbit over the mental exercise of writing I suppose, and I’d like to find a better balance with that. So here I go – could be the only post or the first in a new string of somewhat-regular ones. Who knows?
Those who know me know that I have a horrible – absolutely abysmal – sense of direction. I really don’t know how to get anywhere from anywhere. My friend Greg once asked me a very good question about this: “You have such a good memory for other things; why can’t you remember directions?” I have no idea why it’s any different, but I guess it is different in my head.
Either way, the invention of GPS has forever changed my life for the better. Much, much better. Gone are the times of writing down directions or even printing out step-by-step ones from Google Maps. I’d get so stressed out trying to follow them, wondering how long 0.8 miles is supposed to take, not knowing if I missed something, etc. Having live directions – first from a standalone Garmin (which I affectionately named HoBot 5000 for reasons I’ve since forgotten) and now on my phone – has given me a sense of comfort much greater than most people could imagine.
That said, it’s not perfect. Many of us know the plight of having Google Maps or Waze tell us to turn left on a major street without a stoplight, for example. But there’s one oddity that I haven’t heard other people talk about that amuses and confuses me. (Amfuses me?) I’ll be driving somewhere on the path the GPS gods chose for me, and it’ll show a couple of other options. Most often it’s something telling me that heading toward the freeway would add 3 minutes to the drive or staying on a street instead of turning where the original plan said to will save 2 minutes. But every once in a while, I see the amfusing thing: it basically says by way of highlighted route option, “If you turn on this random side street and go in a loop for no reason whatsoever, it’ll add 15 minutes to your drive.” Have you seen this? It’ll present some option that makes absolutely zero sense and then suggest that it’s a bad idea. Of course it’s a bad idea! It’s almost always a loop that would spit me back out in the same exact place, except just later and for no reason. “If you make a u-turn and head to Magic Mountain, go on a few rides, grab some t-shirts for the kids, and stop at the restroom on the way back to the car, that would add 167 minutes to your drive.”
I’m sure it’ll stop doing that in future versions, but it always catches my eye and makes me wonder what causes it to offer that alternate route. Is it particularly beautiful and I should slow down and enjoy a little nature on the way? Does some enemy of Google live on that street and the machine is trying to annoy them by sending cars past the house? I don’t know, but I’m just glad it presents it as an option and not the actual way to go. If it were the latter, I’d absolutely trust it, follow the directions to a T, arrive at my destination later than expected, and promptly forget every turn that got me there.
