Hello hello! I’ve been meaning to write a post for the last week and keep getting distracted by things like, ya know, life. I have two quick stories that share a theme: they should’ve been more impressed. I’ll get right into them.

About four years ago, I was at work and was having a conversation with someone I hadn’t really interacted with before. As we came to the end of the chat, I asked if she wanted me to email her what we talked about. “Yeah, it’s just A, my last name, at (company).com.” “Ok, and what’s your last name?” I asked. She then said a long Russian last name that I think I had seen written one time since she’d started at the company. “Is that…” I said, and then spelled aloud 13 letters. “Uh huh,” she said flatly. I was pretty amazed at my ability to do that, and I had to imagine most people would’ve said something like, “Whoa, can you spell that for me?” I couldn’t help myself: “That was kinda impressive, right?” Still completely flat, she shrugged and said, “It’s just like it sounds,” and then walked back to her desk.

I sat there for a couple of minutes feeling like I’d been shorted the credit I deserved. She’s right, I suppose, that it sounds like it’s spelled (much like long Japanese last names would be easier to spell than others), but 13 letters and starting with an uncommon “Sm” should’ve gotten some acknowledgement. That said, it’s nothing compared to the lack of astonishment I received in my next story.

It was about a year later, and I was on a company fishing trip. My favorite brother and I were having some breakfast they cooked on the boat and chatting in the indoor area, when I overheard a nearby conversation. A few of the newer employees appeared to be having a disagreement over what went into different cocktails. One boldly asserted something, another said, “No, that’s in an Old Fashioned,” and a third countered with what he thought was in an Old Fashioned. Seeing my opportunity, I walked over. “Excuse me,” I said casually, “but I think I might be able to help with this.” I unzipped my hoodie and revealed the t-shirt I was wearing underneath:

“See!” one guy said. “Told you it had a cherry.” Then they turned and started going back to their conversation. I was in shock. How incredibly unlikely was it for me to be wearing a shirt that listed the ingredients of something they were randomly arguing about? Again, I couldn’t help myself: “Good thing I was wearing this shirt today, right?” I asked. They all smiled and nodded and mumbled some “uh huhs,” but it wasn’t nearly enough for that level of coincidence and timing. I even unzipped and revealed in a cool way, but all for virtually nothing.

That’s it. Just wanted to get those two thematically-related stories out. I’m still a little pissed about both of them, but it’s impossible to make someone more impressed than they are. I should take solace in the fact that I’ve had way more instances where the opposite has happened. That is, I’ve said something that I thought was common knowledge or trivia I happened to have stored in my head and people ended up being floored. Mata Hari being Dutch, for example. Yeah, I should think about that instead. Nope, not working. I was wearing a fucking t-shirt with how to make an Old Fashioned on it! Ok, deep breaths. Have a lovely rest of your weekend, everyone.