Good morning, everyone! I have a problem. It’s not even close to a “big” problem in any sense at all, but it’s still something that affects my life, and I have the keyboard and you don’t so there.
I really enjoy music, and one of my greatest joys in life has been watching my kids learn, like, and ask for music that I’ve shared with them. Seriously, hearing my daughter ask me to put on Weezer’s “Blue Album” (or “al-blum” as she says it) because they like all ten songs on it warms my heart. They’re old enough now that we rock out together, discuss lyrics, etc., and it’s awesome.
But…sometimes the artists I like make it hard for me to share their music. I get it, I really do – they’re not making music for 6 year olds, so there’s no reason for them to think about which songs would be off limits for my kids. But when Weezer’s second al-blum starts with a song called “Tired of Sex” and the fist-pumping “Why Bother” says, “But it’s just sexual attraction/not something real, so I’d rather keep wackin’,” those songs go on my Don’t Playlist. And then the fun singalong “El Scorcho” starts off with “God damn” as the first two words, “Across the Sea” references someone touching themselves, and “Butterfly” says “bitch” in it. So yeah, I can skip around and maybe cough at strategic times, but there’s enough going on with that al-blum that I just skip it all together. Why bother, indeed.
(For the record, the cough method or slightly changing a word here and there works pretty well. “Dicks” becomes “chicks” in a song by They Might Be Giants, and “tits” becomes “hips” in “Norgaard” by The Vaccines without any problem.)
I have a similar problem with a group I really like, because they rock my fucking face off (in a good way). They’re called (ahem) The Front Bottoms. Now, you might be wondering what a front “bottom” is, and that’s good, because it’s inexplicit enough to slide by and just sound funny. (Good thing I’m not a fan of the band Pussy Riot). The Front Bottoms are punky, rocky, and just downright awesome. They swear and have inappropriate lyrics in most of their songs, and that’s part of the appeal for me as a listener because it’s punk rock, after all. There are a few songs that are clean throughout that my kids really like, so I play them fairly often (“Flying Model Rockets,” “Summer Shandy,” and “Laugh Til I Cry” if you’re interested). I know enough to stop the album before the band starts singing about getting high or before the song “Help” comes on, with it’s catchy refrain of, “This is what I want, motherfucker, make it happen for me.” So it’s more of a song-by-song basis, and that’s great; I love being able to share a band I like with the kids.
The problem is when songs are sooooo close to being ok for the kids. “Plastic Flowers” is a really good song, with a fun singalong part at the end that I know my kids would love. But right before that part, lead singer Brian Sella says “Ok, everyone shut the fuck up for a minute.” Annnnnd, onto the Don’t Playlist. Damn. That was a good one. Same thing with a song they just released called “Joanie.” Great song, he just happens to throw in a cool but unnecessary “fuckin'” in the middle of a line. Again – I’m not at all against swearing in songs, and I actually love singing along with both of the parts of the songs I mentioned in this paragraph. It’s just a little disappointing when I realize that one or two syllables will keep the songs off limits (at least for a couple more years, right?).
The kids will hear, know, and use “fuck” eventually (and often if they’re like their parents…or Grandma), but I’ll let that happen the way it naturally should: from friends at school I’ll think are a bad influence. And then, my friends, I’ll open up a whole new world of music for them and we can collectively have our faces rocked the fuck off.