I was standing at my desk when a colleague came by.  She said, “Hey, can you come into my office? I want to show you something.”  If real life had a pause button, employing it here would’ve allowed to me think for a minute before answering.  I would’ve thought about a few things:

1. I’ve never really spoken to this person before, excluding very brief pleasantries.
2. I’ve only been here about two months, so maybe I should wait a little longer before revealing what a weirdo I am.
3. She kinda reminds me of Angela from “The Office,” who is portrayed as very proper and conservative.

But oh, this silly life does not (yet) have pause buttons, so I just responded as I normally would: “Ok, but if it’s a severed head, I’m going to be very upset.”  My favorite brother is nodding right now because he knows I’m quoting “Wayne’s World,” but not everyone was a teenage boy when that movie came out in 1992.  Halfway through the sentence, I started thinking, “Oh crap, why did you answer this way?  You don’t really know this person and this is your real first impression with her.  Way to let your freak flag fly, buddy.”

I finished my sentence and she turned back to look at me.  Without missing a beat, she replied, “What if it’s a mutilated kitty?” “Oh that’s totally fine,” I said, and we finished walking to her office.  Now that line, my friends, is not from “Wayne’s World” or really anything I can think of.  So she just called my strange and unpleasant comment and raised me with one I find to be even more disturbing.  And ya know what?  I applaud that shit out of that.

Is there some moral about how one should always be true to him/herself and speak freely?  No, I think I just got lucky.  It might not have worked out the same way if I had gone with “Schwing!” instead.

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